By: India Foster

In 2015 I lost all of my closest friends.  Usually I never had this problem with losing friends or having friendship issues but this year was definitely different. I’ve had more friends drop me, do me wrong, or just simply fall by the wayside. I really felt like I was in the wrong left wondering what did I do?

In the midst of trying to understand what was going on and trying to stay on top of my work load, I had to cope and get over my friend break-ups quickly. Once I realized these relationships were dead, I knew I couldn’t bring the baggage from them over into the new year.

  1. Come to the realization. I know when I lost my friends, I dwelled on each situation for a minute because I was in such a shock that those closest to me and who I thought were in my corner, were not. Some of them were on my campus nearby and some were miles away either way the hurt felt the same.  I had to realize that things were going to be different and that was the first step to getting over these situations.
  2. Distance yourself at all cost. When I mean distance yourself, that includes social media as well. Whether they’re near or far be sure to unfollow them on all social media accounts. You don’t want to look at their posts and assume they’re about you which will obviously make you mad.
  3. Write a forgiveness letter. No matter who was in the wrong, write a forgiveness letter just expressing all of your feelings about them and the situation.  It’ll get those feelings off of your chest and release anger that you have built over time.  Don’t hold back in your letter, only you are reading it so make it authentic whether you end up cursing them out or leaving tears on every page.
  4. Remind yourself of your standards. After my many situations, I wrote a letter to myself to redirect myself and where I felt like I was going.  Talk to yourself.  Write down what will and will not allow from others from this point forward.  Just remind yourself of your goals, standards, and what you will and will not allow from others.

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on,” -Tupac.

Moving on can definitely be tough but dwelling on dead situations can be draining and overwhelming.  Focusing on my goals and my future helped me move on, if you’ve experienced a break-up with your friends share your experiences below!

More articles by India Foster can be found on The Downtown Tea.

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