One of my best friends – who is the cutest thirty-something girl I know – made a confession to me last night. She told me that when she was a little girl, she used to wish she was Miss Piggy and was excited that The Muppets Movie was back in theaters. She told me this as she laughed admitting she was a little embarrassed, but I told her not to be ashamed because I had a little confession of my own.
Aside from the fantasy where I dreamt I became the break-dancing wife of Adolfo “Shabba-Doo” Quinones, aka “Ozone” from the Breakin’ movies—don’t act “brand new” like you don’t know — but I wished I was Miss Piggy too!
Who wouldn’t? I mean, Miss Piggy was not only fashionable, but she could kick a** like nobody’s business; all while having a faithful little frog by her side that serenaded her for days on end. And talk about confidence! She was a curvy girl and knew how to work it!
So, why am I going on and on about a stuffed pig? Well, because it seems that other people recognized Miss Piggy’s beauty for all its splendor as well, and now..our childhood dreams can come true and we CAN really BE like Miss Piggy!
All jokes aside, MAC cosmetics has released a Miss Piggy line of eye products, so move over Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper – there’s a new girl in town and she knows karate! You can now get Miss Piggy’s signature false eyelashes, pink eyeshadow and a sultry dark eyeliner for a fabulous price.
Now, I know you all may think that I have completely flipped my wig, but I am not the only one who’s gone “hog wild” over our portly pretty one.
Allure magazine interviewed Miss Piggy – or the person making the mega bucks to speak on her imaginary behalf—about her movie and her makeup line.
Allure: You’ve experimented with different hair colors. Why do you always go back to blonde?
Miss Piggy: “Blonde is the color of the sun and fun and high intelligence. I love how blonde hair reflects the light, giving off a golden glow that mesmerizes and, if your hairstylist is really good, temporarily blinds those around you.”
Allure: Are you a natural blonde?
Miss Piggy: “That’s impossible to say. Even my roots have signed a nondisclosure agreement.”
Allure: Is pink eye shadow your signature look? “
Miss Piggy: Moi does look fabulous in pink eyeshadow, but I wouldn’t call it my ‘signature’ look. That makes it sound like I have my name written on my eyelids. Wait a second, that’s not a bad idea.”
Allure: The Miss Piggy-inspired MAC line features false eyelashes. Do you wear false lashes often?
Miss Piggy: “I did a celebrity fragrance—and it was called ‘Moi!’ And it was such a big seller that they ran out. But I’m always interested in new fragrance opportunities, just as long as I don’t have to brew the stuff up in my basement.”
Allure: You never age. What’s your secret?
Miss Piggy: “No original parts. Totally rebuilt from the chassis up.”
Allure: You’ve embraced your curves. Have you ever dieted?
Miss Piggy: “Absolutely. It’s an all-u-can-eat diet with only one rule: Never eat anything you can’t lift. Fortunately for moi, I can bench press a dessert cart.”
Allure: What’s your fitness routine?
Miss Piggy: “I have a personal trainer. He does all my exercises for moi. Hey, if I’m paying, he’s sweating.”
Allure: Onstage and on film, are you playing yourself, some version of yourself, a character?
Miss Piggy: “Moi is moi. What vous see is what moi am. All great actresses play themselves. Playing someone else is cheating. So the Miss Piggy you experience on the silver screen is the same one you would encounter if you were every lucky enough to meet me in person.”
Allure: What did you think of your costar Amy Adams?
Miss Piggy: “We’re BFFs. Amy, if you’re reading this: I hope you win an Oscar—unless we’re nominated in the same category.”
To get your Miss Piggy on, check out her signature line of products on MAC’s website and glam it up, girls!
